Confessions of a Real Mom

I saw something similar on another blog, and it was just too cute and too true, that I couldn't resist borrowing and adapting it to my life. There is a quote from the Earl of Rochester, "Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories." I didn't have theories so much as the notion that I would raise perfect, well behaved, beautiful children, and I would be the most involved, patient, perfect Mom. I do learn quickly, it only took me about a week after our first child was born to realize that I knew NOTHING, and with each individual child I learned that the rules had completely changed. As soon as I got one thing figured out, there was a new situation with completely new rules. Here are just a few of the ways that I have fallen short of my original plans:

* Sometimes I nod and make noises to pretend I am listening to my children when I am not. Especially before 9 am and after 10 pm. It didn't take the kids long to figure that one out and ask me for things during those times. I would often say yes and not realize what I was agreeing to.

* I gave up on daily baths for me and the kids after the second child was born.

* I do have a one bite rule, but I have become increasingly lax about this. Child number 6 pretty much eats whatever she wants, while a previous child went hungry for three days before he took a bite of taquito. PS, he liked it!

* I like to be around my kids most of the time, but I don't always want to play with them.

* There are days when I'm the one asking if we can just do nothing and hang out all day.

* While I love my children at all ages, there are some stages I have enjoyed much more. I really enjoy my older teenagers and adult children.

* I have forgotten to pick up a child on time on many occasions. Hey, it's good for them to walk home, and it teaches them patience to wait for me, right? I wait for them all the time!

* I readily admit that I do the happy dance on the first day of school. And I didn't cry at all when my youngest went to kindergarten this year.

* I am not organized enough or well enough budgeted to pay an allowance. I will pay for "extra" jobs, and I will bribe my children. Sometimes the lunatics do run the asylum.

* I have become my mother and do many things I swore I would never do to my kids: guilt, yell, threaten to call the North Pole, embarrass and scream uncontrollably. Did I mention that I lose it sometimes?

* Our tooth fairy gets lost quite often. One time it took her a week to find our house. The Easter bunny too. Sometimes he comes Saturday morning, and sometimes he comes Sunday night, or it could be anywhere in between. I wonder why my kids don't believe in fairy tales...

* If a lego or barbie shoe is on the floor, I vacuum it up. If it isn't important enough for them to pick it up, I don't care either.

I feel much better now. Please don't forget that Mother's Day is in two weeks and I'd love breakfast in bed and lots of chocolate!

April Fool's!!

Yesterday when Jordyn came home from school, she asked me to fix her some lunch. I told her that it was Lucky 5 (a local chinese place) Friday, and we were going to lunch with her sisters. Jordyn proceeded to have a complete meltdown as only Jordyn can do (second only to Jayme! ;P), complete with fist banging,stomping and real tears. She didn't want to go to Chinese, she wanted to stay home, blah, blah, blah. After about five minutes of this, she takes a deep breath, wipes her eyes and says, "April Fools!!" Wow.

P.S. Lunch was great, I love spending time with my girls!