Not What I Signed Up For!!

Just to warn you -- this may sound whiney, so if you don't like to listen to me whine -- don't read any more!! I knew when I had children that there would be difficult times. I knew there would be labor, sleepless nights, cranky babies and toddlers, terrible 3's, ( yeah, I know, but mine were all worse at 3). I expected hormonal teenage girls, moody teenage boys, moving out, going away to college, etc... The thing I didn't expect was how much you can hurt for your kids. It's so hard to see your kids want something so badly, work so hard for it, and still not achieve it. You get so invested in helping your kids succeed, you support them, you cheer them on, and when things don't go the right way, it hurts like a knife to the chest. Sometimes I think I care more and hurt more than they do when they face dissappointments. It rips me apart, and I can't do anything to fix it. I think that's the hardest part. As a mom, as a caregiver, part of my job is to make things better, so when my kids are hurting, I want to make it better. When I can't, I feel lost. Sometimes I just don't understand why these things happen.

It makes me think of how Heavenly Father must feel. He wants the best for us, and it hurts Him when we are hurting. He can't fix it for us because we have to face the consequences of our choices. If this is a taste of eternity, I'm not sure I want it... I don't know if I can handle always hurting for my kids, I just love them too much and want life to be good for them. I know that life is full of challenges and dissappointments, and I know that is what makes us stronger, I just wish there was an easier way. When I look at my problems, they seem so insignificant compared to what some of my dear friends are struggling with, but I just really needed to vent a little.